I did something out of my comfort zone, but it turned out very well.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
02/25/2018 at 13:50 • Filed to: things that don't suck

Two weeks ago, my wife called me at work with an unusual request. And you know it’s not one you want to hear when they preface it with, “I know how you feel about loaning money but...” Of course you do, yet you have called me anyway.

We have a mutual friend whom I’ve known now for 16 years. And my wife and her have been like sisters since 4th grade. So we’ve all gone through our ups and downs along the way. I would say she’s the the 1980 Toyota pickup of friends: it may be a bumpy ride, but she never lets you down when you need her most. So when my wife relayed to me that she had asked for money, my heart sank. It’s never about how much money; it’s the principle of good-faith loan itself. The risks. Money is a quick way to destroy relationships, be it S/Os, friends, or family (and especially family).

I’ve always had a simple policy when it comes to lending money: no, no, no, no, NO. NO. NO. Never. EVER. NO.

I asked my wife if she felt this was worth risking her friendship for. Frankly if we would have told her no, there would have been no sass, or “what kind of friends are you” nonsense. We would have all gone along peacefully. While she agreed, she ultimately felt the benefit of helping out a friend in need exceeded the potential hazards. I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Alright. I’m gonna say yes. But now you have to listen to me tell you everything I don’t like about this.

“Fair.”

A week later, I write our friend a check. When I handed it to her, I can’t remember quite what I said. It was such a blur because it felt like someone else was controlling my movements. I could hear my inner-Zoidberg screaming, “RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Doing thing we never ever do! BAD! MUY MAL!” A few days later, I get a notification that the check had been cashed. And the countdown was on. When will I get my money back? When she comes over without my money and never mentions it, should I tell her what I think about it? How long should I expect to wait? When he see her post something online about something expensive and impractical she’s bought since then without paying us back, will I want to throw my phone against the wall? Probably.

Thursday, there’s a knock on the door. Doggo barks and charges, as always. I open up. It’s our friend, with a whole lot of cash, spread out like a fan.

Dramatization of money presentation.

Now, one thing you may have noticed that I’ve purposely omitted from this story: Why did she ask for the loan in the first place? What was so important, so urgent , that a proud person like her would ask her closest friends for money?

This was definitely a big factor in my saying yes to the whole thing. The worthiest of causes.

DISCUSSION (15)

LOREM IPSUM > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/25/2018 at 13:57

Now for the true test of mutual friendship...

Ask to borrow it.

Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/25/2018 at 14:05

I know those feels. I had one of my best friend’s brother call me out of the blue and ask to borrow $8k. He begged me, promised to pay me back $10k within 6 months and even told me the sob story about why he needed it. I simply said “Nah I don’t got it right now” which was a lie but also an answer that couldn’t be debated.

It nearly cost me my friendship with my best friend but eventually his brother did borrow money from someone and also never bothered to pay back the full amount. After hearing of this my best friend told me he understood why I declined to loan his brother the money.

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/25/2018 at 14:15

thats a lovely truck... and a lovely coat of snow

i mostly share your view on lending moneys (unless its small amounts... need a 20? here ya go.. if i get it back great... if not dont expect another 20)

that said.. i have one mate who always needs to borrow money... dude always pays me back too... but he tends to dissapear for a month or two before randomly turning up to pay me back and have a beer..... and then he’ll be around most weekends bothering me and wanting to drink more than i should till he needs money again and dissapears..... half the time i just give him the money for the peace n quiet ill get till he can pay it back

(dudes a good guy... heart of gold and all that crap.... but hes very loud and in your face.. and im an antisocial grumpy fucker)

Ash78, voting early and often > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/25/2018 at 14:36

I don’t want to pry, but how was she able to get the cash so quickly to repay you? I mean, that’s great...but did you go into it knowing that it was just a short-term thing? Maybe she couldn’t wait for bank financing to come through or something.

Either way, hopefully it strengthened the friendship. And I’d sort of hope it doesn’t become a normal thing.

(FWIW, I have a first mortgage on my old house — now a rental — through my MIL. My primary residence is through my parents. Everything is fully documented. They get a lot better interest than a bank pays; we get a little better interest — and much better terms — than a bank, too. 5 years and counting, so far so good.)

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/25/2018 at 14:43

People exploit me on this. Hate it, avoid it, but some people are good at wearing me down. My late brother and one of my exes were masters of it, but my parents are also talented guilt trippers (although they do usually pay me back, eventually, over very long periods of time). My method has always been to only “loan” if I really don’t need to see the money again.

The funny thing is that it’s my wife that is the tough one and it is one of the reasons I married her. She always has solid reasons we can’t do it even when we might be able to afford it...

Glad to hear you got it back. I rarely get more than part of it back...